Ephemeral
by v-kwon
Summary: There it goes again. That fleeting, exotic feeling that pulsates through me as if by magic. But why is it that only she can tear it into my insides? Why is it that just looking into her broken violet orbs is enough to crush me? Oneshot. IchiRuki.


**Rikku**: Takes place before Rukia was sent back to Soul Society and while she was contemplating on what was bound to happen to her and Ichigo.

**Disclaimer**: Whoops, almost forgot to disclaim! Bleach and all the characters belong to Kubo Tite. Not me, I swear. The best I own is this computer – and please, don't take it from me.

_Ephemeral  
By, Nishikido-Rikku_

It was one of those days. One of those memories that stick with you even when you're growing old. Something, that even if you tried to, you couldn't pull out of your memory bank. I wouldn't want to anyways. That moment was an example of perfection. And it all began on a Sunday morning as I absent-mindedly drifted away, half asleep and lying on the blazing grass of an open field.

An abrupt explosion of emotions and heartache, completely out of the blue, had struck me like nothing before…

I had my eyes closed at that precise moment. I concentrated on the pulsating feeling inside of me… it was electric. I was choking on my breath. I couldn't understand what this burst of emotions was or what had caused it, but that didn't matter. Every feeling was sensational at that moment, as my breathing became heavier and my thoughts finally loosened…

"Ichigo!"

Her voice rang louder and louder as she continued to call out my name from afar. What an annoyance… Just a second ago, I had been indulging in that strange, chaotic feeling inside of me. If it wasn't for her constant yelling, I would've swelled up in that minute of fleeting emotions.

"Ichigo!" I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but it was obvious she had found me. Her voice was much clearer this time as I felt her presence just beside me. "Get up! What are you doing?"

"Mmm…" I groaned, refusing to move from my current state. I was exhausted, so lying flat on my aching back seemed like the best position at the time… besides, wasn't disrupting that mysterious feeling I had just began to register enough of a pain? "Rukia, piss off for a while, will ya?"

She sighed.

… That's odd… she _sighed_?

I had just prepared myself for the usual blow to the head… but it never came. It was normally the consequence for talking to the Shinigami in such a rude manner and Rukia would've done away with me as if I had insulted another one of her drawings, or so called 'art'... if this was a normal situation, that is. Damn, now I was intrigued. Reluctantly, I snapped open my eyes, glaring as the sun's rays hit with an abruptly blinding force. I moaned and turned my head to the side, noting that she was seated just beside me, calmly starring into the fields ahead. With much effort, I pulled myself into a seating position as well.

"Rukia," I said, quirking a brow. I had completely forgotten about that sensation of feelings just a minute or two ago. "What gives?"

"Hm?" She turned to me questioningly. Not a normal expression. Her eyes were hazy and withering, rather than vibrant and clear.

Okay, so what if she didn't hit me? The best thing to do would be to just dismiss the entire situation. Why should it bother me anyways? "Ehh… you were looking for me?"

Rukia's eyes fell to the open field ahead of us once again and she seemed to have been contemplating long and hard on something. "No, not really." She finally answered, shaking her head. "I saw you dash out the door this morning, so suspicion naturally rose."

"What, you don't trust me?" I snorted. I crossed my arms and jerked my head to the other side, turning my irritated glare away from her.

"Like I said, I was suspicious." Her response was as nonchalant as ever. There was also a hint of reluctance and even a tinge of dishonesty.

"It's no use stressing over me." I stated with a sigh, looking down at the petit girl. I couldn't tear my eyes off her for long enough. Not while she kept up that unusual attitude.

If anything, _I _should've been the suspicious one. What the heck was wrong with her? "I just needed some fresh air; to let loose." I continued, deciding not to question her motives. Whether or not she was lying to me wasn't a big fuss worth dealing with… at least, that's what I told myself. "But I would've preferred that any extra company could _resist_ from tailing me…"

Rukia's eyes returned my way, but she didn't look the least bit apologetic. Frustrated, I grasped a hold of my orange mob and grunted at her empty expression. "Ya know, Rukia, you have a thing for raining havoc on my peace, don't cha?"

Her brows furrowed in annoyance as she placed her hands on her tiny waist. "What the hell do you mean?" she screeched, building her defense. Ah, this was the Rukia I knew...

"Idiot." I mumbled, shaking my head. With a sigh, I threw myself back onto the soft, glazing grass. "… It was odd; before you came, crashing and burning into my moment of tranquility… I just froze with this feeling of emptiness. Yet, it was so energetic at the same time."

"What do you mean?" Rukia questioned, sighing in defeat.

"I don't get it either. But, for just a second, everything in my mind cleared up and this shock of anxiety suddenly ran through me… it was like nothing I've ever felt before."

She didn't reply. I assumed she was thinking this over as her expression turned from blank to curious. She tilted her head to the side and her eyes rested on mine. However, this look of hers was far more sincere and mysterious than any of her previous ones…

There it was. Another electrifying shock, pulsating through my mind at an amazing speed. Again, I was at a loss of breath and for a split second, all I could manage to do was stare back into the Shinigami's violet orbs, lost and transfixed by her dreamy gaze.

"What?" I demanded, when I finally recollected myself. Now that I had a grip over my mind, my stare was evolving with rage and distress. How was it that Kuchiki Rukia could make such a magnificent feeling tear into my insides?

I didn't get it. There was something in the air. Something that made the moment ring with tension. Something uncomfortable… I couldn't stand it! And the one thing that bugged me the most was Rukia's visage. It was eerie, disturbing, but at the same time, sad and alone. Something was different about her, but I just couldn't pin-point it. It was always a challenge trying to read Rukia's intentions; but this was different. I wasn't attempting to decipher another one of her plans, but rather, her feelings instead.

"Ichigo… are you high?"

…

"WHAT!" That hit me like a blow to the head. Random and disappointing… what a question! Baffled, I jolted to a seat, feeling my face heat up in anger… or was that embarrassment? I violently shook my head and directed the darkest, most infuriating glare at the small Shinigami. "Rukia, you…"

But I couldn't complete my complaint. I found my fiery rampage put to a halt as my system calmed down and my mind blanked out. She was giggling. Rukia was giggling at my ferocious display of deep outrage as if we were college students sharing an old highschool joke. "Oi, Rukia…"

"Ichigo." She chuckled, shaking her head from side to side. She shifted in her spot so that we were exactly face to face, and in a cute manner, almost rare for the Shinigami herself when she wasn't trying to deceive anyone at school, tilted her delicate head to the right… as if examining the confused grimace plastered on my exterior.

My insides didn't respond like before. No sudden wave of affections and nothing out of the ordinary. Just bewilderment. Rukia's eyes… never, in all the days that we had been together, were they so sad and gloomy. It amazed me how her mood had changed so quickly without warning. But then I was worried. What could possibly place Rukia in so much depression for those dashing and beautiful violet eyes to turn bitter and disheartening? "Rukia…" I murmured.

Without warning, Rukia's small hands motioned all the way to my face where each one rested on a burning cheek of my own. Her graze was soft yet pensive, as if yearning for that very last touch… whether it was intimate or wistful, I didn't know, but the feeling was so elevating and radiant that losing out on this would feel like having that exalting, fleeting explosion of before leave me time and time again. It was awkward for me to think of or even long for Rukia like I did then, but I felt no shame in it. Her eyes were just so sorrowful, that I knew she needed my shoulder for all the support in the world.

I didn't have the words to ease her pain or enlighten the moment. And because of that, my shocked face had fallen with grief.

"For one moment," she began, speaking softly with a tone of voice so distraught, I could tell her heart was shattering. "Just this once. Don't say a single thing. Please, just let the silence be, as cold as it may become, just leave it as it is. I need to embrace this… one last time."

Of course I didn't get it. I couldn't understand it at all – not a thing. But the next motion by the already crushed girl, as she broke down into my arms, burdened with sorrow, was enough to make me agree and abide by her wish. I wanted to utter her name, to see if she would respond, but I couldn't. She was right; the silence was deadly, but it was all we had as I pulled her even closer to my chest and tightened my arms around her fragile body.

She wasn't crying, but her face was buried into my t-shirt. Her grip around my back refused to wither and I preferred it that way. I was her rock, her foundation, the one she needed most right then and there.

_Just hold on to me Rukia… Hold on. And if you need me this much, don't let go…_

And for the third time that morning, my heartbeat quickened and that numbing, thrilling feeling of thunder and lightning awoke in me once more. But I wasn't questioning it this time as my mind exhilarated in bursts of emotions, moving at a breakneck speed. It was magical… Holding Rukia for dear life and knowing that only she could calm the disastrous havoc inside of me, yet stir it up at the same time...

The earthquake within me grasped at my consciousness for only a split second before surrendering to my sanity yet again. It was fading, vanishing, fleeing… everything I can't successfully describe. I never found out why it would rip into my core or how it was possible, but it was just so _ephemeral_…

That feeling was so extraordinary… to be with and hold someone you cared for so much, knowing that together, you could share the loads that burdened the both of you so that just for a moment, a quick yet significant moment, embracing one another meant the very world…

-End.

xxxxx

**Rikku**: Please review! Now that I look back on this, it's like Ichigo was having orgasms. Teehee.


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